








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2219 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3265 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1758 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2124 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,076 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj erdogan | 65% | 74 |
| #2 | jerry offside | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | ensio pappa | 61% | 36 |
| #5 | Le'Turn1p | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyyb | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | BoB Ross | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ensio pappa | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | jerry offside | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Plasma-Aki | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyyb | 612 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | kari häkki | 282 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | BoB Ross | 254 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | dj erdogan | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Plasma-Aki | 92 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ensio pappa | +2.37 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | BOT Tomi | +1.88 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Ilppa | +0.79 | 46 | 55 |
| #4 | dj erdogan | +0.66 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | tyyb | +0.60 | 79 | 60 |





