










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1231 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1368 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1506 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,858 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashCowKai | 44% | 108 |
| #2 | MattG | 42% | 212 |
| #3 | Sillyfella | 40% | 189 |
| #4 | Regis Philbin | 35% | 51 |
| #5 | numb3r5 | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MattG | 42% | 212 |
| #3 | Sillyfella | 40% | 189 |
| #4 | Regis Philbin | 35% | 51 |
| #5 | numb3r5 | 33% | 42 |
| #6 | Jawn | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattG | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Sillyfella | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | CashCowKai | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Regis Philbin | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | numb3r5 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattG | 971 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | CashCowKai | 294 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Regis Philbin | 228 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sillyfella | 220 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jawn | 140 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regis Philbin | +2.23 | 51 | 61 |
| #2 | Cornbread | +1.32 | 45 | 47 |
| #3 | Jawn | +0.62 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | MattG | +0.19 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | CashCowKai | -0.71 | 36 | 48 |





