








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3254 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1323 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1278 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,266 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattG | 43% | 123 |
| #2 | Jawn | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | Sillyfella | 41% | 105 |
| #4 | CashCowKai | 41% | 54 |
| #5 | Cornbread | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jawn | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | Sillyfella | 41% | 105 |
| #4 | CashCowKai | 41% | 54 |
| #5 | Cornbread | 35% | 51 |
| #6 | numb3r5 | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattG | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | CashCowKai | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Sillyfella | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Cornbread | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Jawn | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattG | 642 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | CashCowKai | 177 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sillyfella | 148 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | numb3r5 | 133 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jawn | 115 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawn | +3.16 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Regis Philbin | +2.06 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | MattG | +0.49 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | Cornbread | -0.58 | 42 | 46 |
| #5 | CashCowKai | -0.69 | 31 | 54 |





