








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2533 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1690 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1855 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,338,367 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1017 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Botwright | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Crim | 60% | 86 |
| #3 | howeydoin | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Fwyer | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | BobsBoosted | 59% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BobsBoosted | 59% | 46 |
| #6 | Hyperal | 57% | 60 |
| #7 | Mentorz | 57% | 23 |
| #8 | Rise | 56% | 78 |
| #9 | SPOSJE | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Fwyer | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Crim | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Rise | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Mentorz | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crim | 317 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Rise | 273 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | BobsBoosted | 253 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | howeydoin | 197 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hyperal | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevonJones | +3.27 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | Botwright | +1.42 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | Mentorz | +1.19 | 88 | 56 |
| #4 | howeydoin | +0.63 | 86 | 78 |
| #5 | Hyperal | +0.28 | 92 | 51 |





