








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1059 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1091 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 347 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 876 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,921 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Botwright | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | DevonJones | 60% | 86 |
| #3 | ⛧spid3y⛧ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Rise | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Mentorz | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ⛧spid3y⛧ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Rise | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Mentorz | 54% | 26 |
| #6 | dead | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | SPOSJE | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevonJones | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Rise | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mentorz | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevonJones | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rise | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | SPOSJE | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mentorz | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Botwright | 16 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevonJones | +5.41 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | Botwright | +2.01 | 86 | 78 |
| #3 | Mentorz | +1.55 | 88 | 53 |
| #4 | Rise | +0.39 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | dead | +0.34 | 76 | 58 |





