








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 364 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6718 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5904 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6233 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6606 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,126,208 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 473 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 59% | 185 |
| #2 | DevonJones | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Fwyer | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | tyrant | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | howeydoin | 49% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fwyer | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | tyrant | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | howeydoin | 49% | 166 |
| #6 | Oliver DePlace | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Twix | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 24 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Fwyer | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | howeydoin | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Twix | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Oliver DePlace | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howeydoin | 807 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | Hyperal | 273 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fwyer | 262 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | tyrant | 165 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Twix | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevonJones | +2.13 | 87 | 42 |
| #2 | Hyperal | +1.78 | 92 | 46 |
| #3 | howeydoin | +1.32 | 84 | 76 |
| #4 | tyrant | +0.74 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | BobsBoosted | +0.27 | 73 | 71 |





