








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




156 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5784 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4228 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6708 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4757 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,944,797 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiths | 70% | 73 |
| #2 | Twix | 65% | 54 |
| #3 | BobsBoosted | 59% | 185 |
| #4 | Creachur | 57% | 254 |
| #5 | DevonJones | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BobsBoosted | 59% | 185 |
| #4 | Creachur | 57% | 254 |
| #5 | DevonJones | 57% | 60 |
| #6 | Fwyer | 57% | 528 |
| #7 | howeydoin | 53% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fwyer | 71 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Creachur | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | BobsBoosted | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | howeydoin | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Twix | 7 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fwyer | 2076 | 0.20 | 50 min |
| #2 | Creachur | 887 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | BobsBoosted | 847 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #4 | howeydoin | 795 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #5 | smiths | 233 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | +3.04 | 91 | 50 |
| #2 | smiths | +2.83 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Creachur | +2.07 | 81 | 70 |
| #4 | DevonJones | +1.68 | 84 | 47 |
| #5 | howeydoin | +1.56 | 83 | 77 |





