








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2662 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1183 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1991 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2086 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,122 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็ | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | dure | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | rankasija | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | Joksuu | 56% | 158 |
| #5 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 54% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joksuu | 23 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Spöndels | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | rankasija | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 7 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spöndels | 648 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Joksuu | 255 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 250 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | dure | 213 | 0.46 | 5 min |
| #5 | rankasija | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |





