








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8302 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7390 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6937 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5951 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,522,937 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 52% | 193 |
| #7 | Antero Luukkonen | 52% | 226 |
| #8 | Dille | 51% | 72 |
| #9 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 51% | 269 |
| #10 | HIRVI | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joksuu | 46 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | rankasija | 38 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | BoB Ross | 34 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Antero Luukkonen | 33 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 25 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 675 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | Joksuu | 662 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #3 | rankasija | 581 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Antero Luukkonen | 561 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 511 | 0.13 | 11 min |





