










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2828 | 51% |
| Smokes | 707 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1312 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 692 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,364 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dure | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | BoB Ross | 64% | 67 |
| #3 | ็ | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | Joksuu | 60% | 136 |
| #5 | Spöndels | 59% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Spöndels | 59% | 276 |
| #6 | Antero Luukkonen | 56% | 84 |
| #7 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 53% | 167 |
| #8 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 50% | 111 |
| #9 | HIRVI | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spöndels | 24 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Joksuu | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | BoB Ross | 15 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 11 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spöndels | 772 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | 🍀 J ɛ p p ɛ | 476 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | 345 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Joksuu | 245 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | dure | 229 | 0.44 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joksuu | +2.20 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | JariNSeksiHousutPVP | +1.71 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | Antero Luukkonen | +1.36 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | BoB Ross | +1.32 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | Spöndels | +0.92 | 75 | 59 |





