








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 17% |
| Smokes | 795 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1064 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,820 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Reaper | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | CDJ | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Cragz | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Cal | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | Monkeh | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Monkeh | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Randyman <3 | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | Banda | 54% | 37 |
| #8 | CiaranD601 | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | Kieu [A] | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randyman <3 | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | CDJ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Cal | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Banda | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Monkeh | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banda | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | CDJ | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cal | 88 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kieu [A] | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Monkeh | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cal | +2.10 | 80 | 78 |
| #2 | Kieu [A] | +0.95 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Monkeh | +0.79 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | Enzo | +0.12 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | CiaranD601 | +0.11 | 75 | 72 |





