








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 562 | 22% |
| Smokes | 486 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 823 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,289 of utility $275 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | xLMS | 53% | 105 |
| #8 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/braunizzl | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | zimtschneckle | 45% | 62 |
| #11 | xWhite | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xLMS | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | suNrize | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ThaSqu1rrel | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | zimtschneckle | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimtschneckle | 360 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | suNrize | 311 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | ThaSqu1rrel | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/braunizzl | 102 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | +5.73 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | suNrize | +3.31 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | FeelsBirthdayMan | +3.15 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | ThaSqu1rrel | +1.85 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | +1.52 | 70 | 62 |





