








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1277 | 53% |
| Smokes | 450 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 346 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,063 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | suNrize | 56% | 99 |
| #8 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | 55% | 75 |
| #9 | zimtschneckle | 55% | 77 |
| #10 | xLMS | 52% | 91 |
| #11 | Treyz | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | suNrize | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | xLMS | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BuMsDoHle | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/braunizzl | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimtschneckle | 333 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | suNrize | 238 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | xLMS | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/braunizzl | 61 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treyz | +6.29 | 93 | 73 |
| #2 | ThaSqu1rrel | +1.95 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Powerlauch | +1.84 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | suNrize | +1.63 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/braunizzl | +1.52 | 60 | 64 |





