








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2177 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2237 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2520 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,016 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | tang | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Mr.NiceGuy | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Tee | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | lonely | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmallNipEnjoyer | 126 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mr.NiceGuy | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | beat | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Levi | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fat Bitch | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.NiceGuy | +2.46 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | lonely | +2.29 | 79 | 10 |
| #3 | beat | +1.30 | 76 | 28 |
| #4 | Mr.CRAB MAN | +1.26 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | Fat Bitch | +1.01 | 65 | 46 |





