








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 487 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5688 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7132 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7540 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4046 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,665,023 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 64% | 115 |
| #2 | tang | 61% | 147 |
| #3 | beat | 59% | 261 |
| #4 | Sussyballs | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | Bobert | 55% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tee | 55% | 209 |
| #8 | lonely | 54% | 287 |
| #9 | ᴍᴇɴᴀᴄᴇ stozzy | 53% | 186 |
| #10 | Mr.CRAB MAN | 53% | 68 |
| #11 | PreppieAcorn78 | 51% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonely | 29 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | PreppieAcorn78 | 28 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | beat | 27 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ᴍᴇɴᴀᴄᴇ stozzy | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | taco bell victim | 21 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beat | 334 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | taco bell victim | 205 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | tang | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr.CRAB MAN | 193 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | PreppieAcorn78 | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.NiceGuy | +2.99 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | lonely | +2.04 | 78 | 7 |
| #3 | beat | +1.72 | 72 | 33 |
| #4 | Mr.CRAB MAN | +1.22 | 60 | 56 |
| #5 | taco bell victim | +0.97 | 56 | 48 |





