








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2066 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1378 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,865 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlick | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Sussyballs | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | ᴍᴇɴᴀᴄᴇ stozzy | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | lonely | 51% | 85 |
| #5 | PreppieAcorn78 | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | beat | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | Tee | 47% | 60 |
| #9 | tang | 45% | 60 |
| #10 | Levi | 44% | 64 |
| #11 | Mr.NiceGuy | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PreppieAcorn78 | 7 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | lonely | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Tee | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | tang | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Mr.CRAB MAN | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.CRAB MAN | 106 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | tang | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mr.NiceGuy | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Levi | 41 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | PreppieAcorn78 | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlick | +3.48 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Fat Bitch | +3.13 | 69 | 53 |
| #3 | beat | +2.37 | 75 | 28 |
| #4 | lonely | +1.92 | 75 | 9 |
| #5 | Mr.NiceGuy | +0.82 | 62 | 65 |





