








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4461 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5505 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2940 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4925 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,918,496 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Outlier | 57% | 164 |
| #4 | Raze | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | Vinegar Mix | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | Player | 53% | 100 |
| #7 | Trees. | 49% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trees. | 462 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Outlier | 408 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Player | 387 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Raze | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vinegar Mix | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |





