








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 999 | 32% |
| Smokes | 680 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 707 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,576 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vacuum | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Gohan | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | FireLord | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | pablo | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vacuum | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Gohan | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | FireLord | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | pablo | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | pablo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Gohan | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Vacuum | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 2 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 368 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | FireLord | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vacuum | 115 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gohan | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | +1.13 | 46 | 72 |
| #2 | FireLord | +0.94 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | Shaquille Oatmeal | +0.78 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | Gohan | +0.28 | 68 | 37 |
| #5 | hashslingingslasher | -0.97 | 47 | 63 |





