








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 617 | 20% |
| Smokes | 799 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 868 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 832 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,252 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gohan | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Vacuum | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | FireLord | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | pablo | 41% | 93 |
| #5 | hashslingingslasher | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gohan | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Vacuum | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | FireLord | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | pablo | 41% | 93 |
| #5 | hashslingingslasher | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | FireLord | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Vacuum | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | hashslingingslasher | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Gohan | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 475 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | Vacuum | 215 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | FireLord | 145 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | hashslingingslasher | 49 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gohan | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | +0.96 | 54 | 71 |
| #2 | Gohan | +0.34 | 63 | 24 |
| #3 | FireLord | +0.15 | 61 | 48 |
| #4 | Shaquille Oatmeal | -0.95 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | hashslingingslasher | -1.36 | 39 | 69 |





