








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 336 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1034 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,763 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | 55% | 85 |
| #2 | hashslingingslasher | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | Gohan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | pablo | 44% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | 55% | 85 |
| #2 | hashslingingslasher | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | Gohan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | pablo | 44% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | pablo | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Gohan | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | hashslingingslasher | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 517 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | FireLord | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 132 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | hashslingingslasher | 110 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gohan | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | +1.15 | 61 | 47 |
| #2 | pablo | +0.98 | 52 | 71 |
| #3 | Gohan | +0.37 | 66 | 38 |
| #4 | Shaquille Oatmeal | -0.66 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | hashslingingslasher | -0.83 | 46 | 64 |





