








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6365 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3977 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2363 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3387 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,045 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gohan | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | FireLord | 44% | 234 |
| #3 | hashslingingslasher | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | Vacuum | 44% | 95 |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gohan | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | FireLord | 44% | 234 |
| #3 | hashslingingslasher | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | Vacuum | 44% | 95 |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Vacuum | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | hashslingingslasher | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Gohan | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireLord | 437 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Vacuum | 367 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | hashslingingslasher | 255 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Shaquille Oatmeal | 213 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gohan | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | +0.20 | 53 | 69 |
| #2 | FireLord | -0.29 | 59 | 47 |
| #3 | Gohan | -0.31 | 66 | 35 |
| #4 | hashslingingslasher | -1.07 | 46 | 65 |
| #5 | Shaquille Oatmeal | -1.64 | 76 | 49 |





