








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2974 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3770 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3015 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2133 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,750,221 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jiikeri | 55% | 186 |
| #2 | Shaageli | 54% | 129 |
| #3 | jalek1 | 54% | 429 |
| #4 | Apinamies | 52% | 406 |
| #5 | Kinkura | 52% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Apinamies | 52% | 406 |
| #5 | Kinkura | 52% | 198 |
| #6 | Jeppo | 51% | 65 |
| #7 | smagis | 51% | 69 |
| #8 | Kali | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jalek1 | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Apinamies | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | jiikeri | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Kinkura | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Jeppo | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apinamies | 1798 | 0.21 | 52 min |
| #2 | jalek1 | 1159 | 0.13 | 37 min |
| #3 | smagis | 263 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kali | 233 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | jiikeri | 187 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jalek1 | +2.51 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Apinamies | +1.19 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | jiikeri | +0.41 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Th0mas | -0.30 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | smagis | -1.28 | 58 | 66 |





