








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1561 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2381 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2160 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2799 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,593,937 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th0mas | 55% | 186 |
| #2 | Shaageli | 54% | 120 |
| #3 | Apinamies | 51% | 310 |
| #4 | jalek1 | 51% | 310 |
| #5 | Kali | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kali | 51% | 57 |
| #6 | Kinkura | 50% | 144 |
| #7 | smagis | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | Jeppo | 47% | 62 |
| #9 | mlinkku | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apinamies | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | jalek1 | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Shaageli | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Th0mas | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Kinkura | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apinamies | 1458 | 0.22 | 43 min |
| #2 | jalek1 | 977 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #3 | Th0mas | 217 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | smagis | 142 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | mlinkku | 128 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jalek1 | +2.25 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Apinamies | +0.95 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | jiikeri | +0.64 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | Th0mas | -0.21 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Kinkura | -1.99 | 34 | 54 |





