








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 591 matches | ||
| Faceit | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7005 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6664 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8126 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5347 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,007,697 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poncake | 61% | 150 |
| #2 | Bash1ra | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | Twizzton | 58% | 215 |
| #4 | nicozoro | 57% | 58 |
| #5 | MAKSI152 | 55% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RiiZe | 1697 | 0.25 | 55 min |
| #2 | MAKSI152 | 634 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Flumpltn | 469 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #4 | Ceipi | 431 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | Twizzton | 385 | 0.09 | 11 min |





