








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 624 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9493 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6096 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2900 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 6822 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,073,001 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mariatchi | 53% | 91 |
| #9 | Sunbro-San | 49% | 147 |
| #10 | Ceipi | 45% | 119 |
| #11 | MAKSI152 | 45% | 73 |
| #12 | Guggen | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poncake | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Sunbro-San | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | danus | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Flumpltn | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | mariatchi | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danus | 454 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sunbro-San | 390 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ceipi | 336 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Twizzton | 257 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | MAKSI152 | 230 | 0.15 | 6 min |





