








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3033 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3700 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2142 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3420 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,705 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 782 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aekara | 52% | 143 |
| #2 | Ludvig | 50% | 167 |
| #3 | Mini Larsen | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | Jocker | 48% | 106 |
| #5 | ItsHypnotix | 48% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jocker | 48% | 106 |
| #5 | ItsHypnotix | 48% | 284 |
| #6 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 47% | 239 |
| #7 | psema | 44% | 176 |
| #8 | jrFredheim | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psema | 53 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | ItsHypnotix | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 24 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Aekara | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Ludvig | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psema | 555 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | ItsHypnotix | 528 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 464 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Aekara | 446 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ludvig | 369 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludvig | +2.09 | 60 | 72 |
| #2 | Mini Larsen | +1.88 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Aekara | +1.64 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | jrFredheim | +0.40 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | Hansa | +0.22 | 63 | 59 |





