








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3038 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2209 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2230 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1752 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,210 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mini Larsen | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | Ludvig | 51% | 113 |
| #3 | Aekara | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 48% | 199 |
| #5 | ItsHypnotix | 47% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Aekara | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 48% | 199 |
| #5 | ItsHypnotix | 47% | 193 |
| #6 | Hansa | 44% | 176 |
| #7 | Jocker | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 33 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ItsHypnotix | 28 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Aekara | 20 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Hansa | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Ludvig | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aekara | 465 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | ItsHypnotix | 437 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 428 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hansa | 316 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ludvig | 241 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mini Larsen | +3.10 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Ludvig | +2.63 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | Aekara | +2.55 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | Hansa | +0.85 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | ItsHypnotix | +0.52 | 68 | 43 |





