








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2567 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3654 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3243 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1568 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,019,583 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 634 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jrFredheim | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Mini Larsen | 52% | 113 |
| #3 | Ludvig | 52% | 215 |
| #4 | Aekara | 49% | 168 |
| #5 | Hansa | 48% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aekara | 49% | 168 |
| #5 | Hansa | 48% | 284 |
| #6 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 48% | 350 |
| #7 | psema | 47% | 193 |
| #8 | Jocker | 41% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psema | 67 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 40 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Hansa | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Aekara | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Ludvig | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 757 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | psema | 691 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Aekara | 564 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hansa | 558 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | Ludvig | 488 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mini Larsen | +2.24 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Aekara | +2.22 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | Ludvig | +2.00 | 57 | 72 |
| #4 | Hansa | -0.01 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | ItsHypnotix | -0.07 | 68 | 47 |





