








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5103 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5192 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4083 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5063 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,116,126 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jrFredheim | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Mini Larsen | 60% | 180 |
| #3 | LYNZERK[9] | 58% | 103 |
| #4 | aha... | 56% | 121 |
| #5 | termiiqk | 56% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | psema | 51% | 113 |
| #10 | aLendo | 51% | 45 |
| #11 | Hansa | 50% | 167 |
| #12 | Aekara | 50% | 108 |
| #13 | Jocker | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psema | 23 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | ItsHypnotix | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Mini Larsen | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Hansa | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aha... | 773 | 0.31 | 27 min |
| #2 | Mini Larsen | 490 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Horizontally Spinning Rat | 450 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | ItsHypnotix | 420 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | psema | 403 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aha... | +4.26 | 89 | 89 |
| #2 | Mini Larsen | +1.87 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Aekara | +1.51 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | Ludvig | +1.31 | 57 | 69 |
| #5 | termiiqk | +0.46 | 64 | 69 |





