








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1597 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3503 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4003 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3170 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,743,512 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brians daddy | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | Master Tong | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | penis soup | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | MONTANA | 48% | 87 |
| #5 | bo some tong | 48% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Trill God | 44% | 108 |
| #10 | ⭕⃤ | 43% | 76 |
| #11 | CHARIZARD VMAX | 42% | 38 |
| #12 | Confucius | 42% | 48 |
| #13 | Jobu Tupaki | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BBBBB | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | bo some tong | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Gamsahabmida | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Trill God | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | MONTANA | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo some tong | 365 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Gamsahabmida | 312 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Trill God | 284 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | BBBBB | 278 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ | 265 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penis soup | +3.83 | 75 | 44 |
| #2 | brians daddy | +2.51 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | kek | +2.48 | 80 | 41 |
| #4 | Gamsahabmida | +1.65 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | Confucius | +0.39 | 64 | 54 |





