








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3622 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2468 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4629 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3589 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,975 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garettx | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | Trill God | 54% | 167 |
| #3 | MONTANA | 49% | 138 |
| #4 | BBBBB | 49% | 205 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ⭕⃤ | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | penis soup | 48% | 40 |
| #7 | bo some tong | 47% | 240 |
| #8 | jlingotsetup | 46% | 164 |
| #9 | Jobu Tupaki | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jlingotsetup | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | BBBBB | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Trill God | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | bo some tong | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MONTANA | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo some tong | 459 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | BBBBB | 416 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Trill God | 363 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | MONTANA | 292 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Garettx | 184 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penis soup | +3.21 | 80 | 41 |
| #2 | Gamsahabmida | +1.38 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | Trill God | +0.64 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | bo some tong | -0.10 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | jlingotsetup | -0.40 | 47 | 47 |





