








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2426 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2860 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2045 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 552 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,084 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brians daddy | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Master Tong | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | MONTANA | 50% | 113 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | jlingotsetup | 48% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hanu | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | Garettx | 45% | 55 |
| #9 | Trill God | 44% | 154 |
| #10 | BBBBB | 44% | 189 |
| #11 | Jobu Tupaki | 42% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jlingotsetup | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | BBBBB | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Gamsahabmida | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Trill God | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MONTANA | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamsahabmida | 451 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | BBBBB | 380 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Trill God | 324 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | MONTANA | 244 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | jlingotsetup | 170 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brians daddy | +2.74 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Gamsahabmida | +1.72 | 60 | 72 |
| #3 | Trill God | +0.32 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | bo some tong | +0.05 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ | +0.03 | 29 | 72 |





