








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1046 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Faceit | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3645 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6862 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7535 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7289 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,812,206 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimlock pablo | 67% | 48 |
| #2 | aatu | 65% | 108 |
| #3 | abe5u^ | 63% | 91 |
| #4 | Smokey | 61% | 76 |
| #5 | huoleton koiramummi | 60% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliOs | 730 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | aatu | 555 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | k1tten | 490 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | abe5u^ | 466 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #5 | Lartzee | 265 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliOs | +2.27 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Smokey | +2.26 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | スブラ | +2.22 | 86 | 58 |
| #4 | k1tten | +1.41 | 85 | 76 |
| #5 | abe5u^ | +1.06 | 69 | 70 |





