








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 391 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8430 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8435 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6773 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9211 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,401,605 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kakku<3 | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | MiNtBlAsUb | 67% | 83 |
| #3 | ukko | 65% | 83 |
| #4 | S4MI | 64% | 120 |
| #5 | EliOs | 61% | 390 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | S4MI | 64% | 120 |
| #5 | EliOs | 61% | 390 |
| #6 | スブラ | 60% | 192 |
| #7 | Demon. <9 | 58% | 55 |
| #8 | MVP194 | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliOs | 26 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | スブラ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | S4MI | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ukko | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Demon. <9 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliOs | 942 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | S4MI | 429 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | MiNtBlAsUb | 392 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | Demon. <9 | 290 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #5 | スブラ | 232 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ukko | +2.21 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | MiNtBlAsUb | +1.96 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | k1tten | +1.74 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | EliOs | +1.67 | 84 | 60 |
| #5 | スブラ | +0.65 | 84 | 53 |





