








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5159 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3995 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5539 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4211 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,601,566 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naamakala | 65% | 52 |
| #2 | KarK | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | スブラ | 61% | 76 |
| #4 | uGGo.. | 59% | 126 |
| #5 | aimlock pablo | 57% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | beast | 56% | 34 |
| #9 | abe5u^ | 55% | 321 |
| #10 | HÖNÖ | 52% | 46 |
| #11 | BoomeR | 52% | 31 |
| #12 | MOGE | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe5u^ | 27 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | aatu | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | スブラ | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | HÖNÖ | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | aimlock pablo | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe5u^ | 1674 | 0.24 | 49 min |
| #2 | aatu | 1471 | 0.24 | 36 min |
| #3 | aimlock pablo | 888 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #4 | huoleton koiramummi | 687 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #5 | uGGo.. | 231 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naamakala | +5.72 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Smokey | +1.89 | 89 | 66 |
| #3 | スブラ | +1.78 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | beast | +1.26 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | abe5u^ | +1.02 | 67 | 71 |





