








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 508 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3657 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8147 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5835 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5076 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,074,577 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 614 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aatu | 61% | 309 |
| #2 | スブラ | 60% | 80 |
| #3 | MOGE | 59% | 148 |
| #4 | aimlock pablo | 58% | 417 |
| #5 | KarK | 57% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KarK | 57% | 114 |
| #6 | abe5u^ | 57% | 575 |
| #7 | Smokey | 56% | 271 |
| #8 | uGGo.. | 56% | 158 |
| #9 | Maukkanen | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe5u^ | 40 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | aimlock pablo | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Smokey | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | uGGo.. | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | スブラ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe5u^ | 2963 | 0.23 | 87 min |
| #2 | aatu | 1691 | 0.24 | 41 min |
| #3 | aimlock pablo | 1533 | 0.16 | 42 min |
| #4 | Smokey | 837 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #5 | uGGo.. | 331 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | +2.50 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Smokey | +1.41 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | aimlock pablo | +1.24 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | abe5u^ | +1.23 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | huoleton koiramummi | +0.24 | 73 | 57 |





