








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 645 matches | ||
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11415 | 24% |
| Smokes | 13050 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 12243 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 10724 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,871,980 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1093 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lartzee | 65% | 95 |
| #2 | xJoKeSx | 63% | 246 |
| #3 | yake | 63% | 119 |
| #4 | tjoe | 63% | 151 |
| #5 | k1tten | 61% | 390 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1tten | 1063 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #2 | xJoKeSx | 604 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | JAKO | 415 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #4 | スブラ | 384 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Lartzee | 329 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliOs | +2.36 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | tjoe | +2.35 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | k1tten | +1.26 | 85 | 73 |
| #4 | スブラ | +1.18 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | xJoKeSx | +0.96 | 75 | 53 |





