








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1071 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,935 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj erdogan | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | tex willer | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | BoB Ross | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | tyyb | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Plasma-Aki | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tex willer | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | BoB Ross | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | tyyb | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Plasma-Aki | 52% | 65 |
| #6 | jerry offside | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plasma-Aki | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | BoB Ross | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | dj erdogan | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | tex willer | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | jerry offside | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plasma-Aki | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | tyyb | 73 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | tex willer | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | jerry offside | 26 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | BoB Ross | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj erdogan | +4.41 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | jerry offside | +1.09 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | jaska mäkilähtö | +0.81 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | tyyb | +0.66 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | BoB Ross | -0.62 | 49 | 73 |





