








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 23% |
| Smokes | 90 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,121 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stressmelo | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Impalla | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Electric Vehicle | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | nutmeg | 41% | 56 |
| #5 | flop | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Electric Vehicle | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | nutmeg | 41% | 56 |
| #5 | flop | 38% | 39 |
| #6 | Infin8ty | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | she left :D | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 25 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | Electric Vehicle | 5 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | Stressmelo | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | flop | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Impalla | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 157 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | flop | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Impalla | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stressmelo | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Infin8ty | +3.57 | 58 | 38 |
| #2 | flop | +2.41 | 54 | 53 |
| #3 | nutmeg | +1.52 | 54 | 46 |
| #4 | Impalla | +1.40 | 78 | 43 |
| #5 | Stressmelo | +0.89 | 74 | 29 |





