








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1890 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1591 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1505 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,951 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B0WchickaW0W | 48% | 108 |
| #2 | Gum Cuzzler | 47% | 87 |
| #3 | iCake | 44% | 88 |
| #4 | Rid3ordi3 | 43% | 113 |
| #5 | -[biqut2]- | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gum Cuzzler | 47% | 87 |
| #3 | iCake | 44% | 88 |
| #4 | Rid3ordi3 | 43% | 113 |
| #5 | -[biqut2]- | 39% | 59 |
| #6 | BangBros.Inc | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iCake | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Gum Cuzzler | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | B0WchickaW0W | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | BangBros.Inc | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B0WchickaW0W | 558 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | 420 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Gum Cuzzler | 230 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | BangBros.Inc | 157 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | -[biqut2]- | 140 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inst1nctz | +2.23 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | +0.30 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | iCake | -0.08 | 75 | 44 |
| #4 | Gum Cuzzler | -0.25 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | BangBros.Inc | -0.58 | 81 | 64 |





