








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4633 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4886 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4287 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4240 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,798,637 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gum Cuzzler | 51% | 133 |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | 49% | 371 |
| #3 | BangBros.Inc | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | B0WchickaW0W | 48% | 341 |
| #5 | iCake | 47% | 299 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | 49% | 371 |
| #3 | BangBros.Inc | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | B0WchickaW0W | 48% | 341 |
| #5 | iCake | 47% | 299 |
| #6 | Inst1nctz | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rid3ordi3 | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | iCake | 20 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | B0WchickaW0W | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Gum Cuzzler | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | BangBros.Inc | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B0WchickaW0W | 1591 | 0.22 | 38 min |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | 1342 | 0.17 | 38 min |
| #3 | BangBros.Inc | 397 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #4 | Gum Cuzzler | 394 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | iCake | 270 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inst1nctz | +1.88 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | +0.97 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | iCake | +0.96 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | Gum Cuzzler | +0.07 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | -[biqut2]- | -0.01 | 71 | 62 |





