








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 581 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 324 | 8% |
| Smokes | 934 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2015 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,786 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milfslayernocap | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Smitty4k | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | DOGGIE | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Eldenring Mule | 56% | 85 |
| #5 | Zionq | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zionq | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | Mr. Ricky | 47% | 89 |
| #7 | omega | 47% | 62 |
| #8 | LeeroyMcGee | 45% | 127 |
| #9 | dookie | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOGGIE | 12 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | milfslayernocap | 10 | 0.0259 |
| #3 | Mr. Ricky | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | LeeroyMcGee | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | omega | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldenring Mule | 359 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | LeeroyMcGee | 225 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mr. Ricky | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | DOGGIE | 119 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | omega | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omega | +3.76 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Smitty4k | +2.01 | 65 | 45 |
| #3 | Eldenring Mule | +1.14 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | milfslayernocap | +0.88 | 77 | 24 |
| #5 | Zionq | +0.55 | 64 | 36 |





