










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 828 | 27% |
| Smokes | 637 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,821 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crxmson | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | milfslayernocap | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Eldenring Mule | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | Moosey Moose | 47% | 89 |
| #5 | DOGGIE | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BakedBeans banditcamp.com | 41% | 46 |
| #8 | dookie | 41% | 34 |
| #9 | omega | 40% | 47 |
| #10 | Zionq | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | Two | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milfslayernocap | 20 | 0.0303 |
| #2 | DOGGIE | 15 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | Moosey Moose | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | LeeroyMcGee | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | omega | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldenring Mule | 180 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | DOGGIE | 172 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | LeeroyMcGee | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | BakedBeans banditcamp.com | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | milfslayernocap | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omega | +3.36 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Eldenring Mule | +0.98 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Zionq | +0.82 | 62 | 38 |
| #4 | milfslayernocap | +0.27 | 74 | 28 |
| #5 | Two | +0.03 | 60 | 54 |





