








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1913 | 39% |
| Smokes | 499 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 719 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,088 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zionq | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | DOGGIE | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | milfslayernocap | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Mr. Ricky | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | Moosey Moose | 56% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Moosey Moose | 56% | 85 |
| #6 | omega | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | BakedBeans banditcamp.com | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | dookie | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Jon | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moosey Moose | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | milfslayernocap | 9 | 0.0366 |
| #3 | DOGGIE | 7 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | Mr. Ricky | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | dookie | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Ricky | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | DOGGIE | 81 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | milfslayernocap | 39 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moosey Moose | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | omega | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omega | +4.49 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Zionq | +1.87 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | Jon | +1.13 | 74 | 47 |
| #4 | milfslayernocap | +1.11 | 83 | 44 |
| #5 | Eldenring Mule | +0.50 | 74 | 52 |





