








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 198 | 9% |
| Smokes | 858 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 337 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,396 of utility $284 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zionq | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | omega | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Smitty4k | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Eldenring Mule | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Moosey Moose | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Smitty4k | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Eldenring Mule | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Moosey Moose | 44% | 66 |
| #6 | Scourge | 42% | 50 |
| #7 | Mr. Ricky | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moosey Moose | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Scourge | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Smitty4k | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Mr. Ricky | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | omega | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldenring Mule | 154 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mr. Ricky | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Scourge | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | omega | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moosey Moose | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omega | +4.47 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | Zionq | +2.35 | 63 | 41 |
| #3 | Smitty4k | +1.94 | 60 | 45 |
| #4 | Eldenring Mule | +1.36 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | dookie | -1.01 | 29 | 30 |





