








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,904 | |
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 981 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1252 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1037 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,153 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honda | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | T0PaZ | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | € | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | c6 | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | S0RSA | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | S0RSA | 67% | 15 |
| #6 | matohäntä | 65% | 20 |
| #7 | Atqu | 65% | 17 |
| #8 | peKsa | 63% | 19 |
| #9 | hrza | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | € | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | honda | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | hrza | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | matohäntä | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | € | 179 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | hrza | 87 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Atqu | 87 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | T0PaZ | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | matohäntä | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | € | +4.27 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Atqu | +2.03 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | T0PaZ | +1.94 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | honda | +1.89 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | hrza | +1.63 | 76 | 61 |





