








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 886 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5914 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6132 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3294 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3442 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,194,354 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P@SIYA π£ | 49% | 340 |
| #2 | Hoo Lee Sheet | 49% | 207 |
| #3 | Kalu Malli | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | K@iya { ε―δΊ }πβ | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | 50 π
ππ π©πππ€ | 46% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P@SIYA π£ | 49% | 340 |
| #2 | Hoo Lee Sheet | 49% | 207 |
| #3 | Kalu Malli | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | K@iya { ε―δΊ }πβ | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | 50 π
ππ π©πππ€ | 46% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P@SIYA π£ | 25 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Kalu Malli | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 50 π
ππ π©πππ€ | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | K@iya { ε―δΊ }πβ | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Hoo Lee Sheet | 11 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 50 π
ππ π©πππ€ | 523 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | K@iya { ε―δΊ }πβ | 397 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | P@SIYA π£ | 311 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kalu Malli | 189 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hoo Lee Sheet | 184 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dissa | +1.22 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | P@SIYA π£ | +0.23 | 44 | 42 |
| #3 | Hoo Lee Sheet | -0.12 | 59 | 36 |
| #4 | 50 π
ππ π©πππ€ | -0.48 | 49 | 64 |
| #5 | Kalu Malli | -1.92 | 36 | 31 |





