








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 540 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7984 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7931 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7910 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6089 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,606,706 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dUFFAjAY | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Taisteluhippo Hippoilija | 50% | 147 |
| #3 | Taisteluhippo laitineh | 50% | 197 |
| #4 | fffeijjo | 49% | 393 |
| #5 | TeXual | 48% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TeXual | 48% | 141 |
| #6 | Monko | 48% | 115 |
| #7 | Nakit | 47% | 72 |
| #8 | ekkis | 43% | 84 |
| #9 | Harge | 41% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taisteluhippo Hippoilija | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | fffeijjo | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Taisteluhippo laitineh | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | TeXual | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Monko | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fffeijjo | 1916 | 0.23 | 65 min |
| #2 | Taisteluhippo Hippoilija | 908 | 0.30 | 23 min |
| #3 | TeXual | 851 | 0.28 | 26 min |
| #4 | Taisteluhippo laitineh | 355 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nakit | 302 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taisteluhippo Hippoilija | +3.34 | 86 | 77 |
| #2 | Monko | +1.77 | 44 | 57 |
| #3 | TeXual | +1.19 | 65 | 78 |
| #4 | dUFFAjAY | +1.12 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | fffeijjo | +0.08 | 56 | 84 |





