








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3959 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2960 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1690 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2210 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,691 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Stumbel91YT | 50% | 147 |
| #7 | Monko | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | Nakit | 44% | 63 |
| #9 | Taisteluhippo laitineh | 42% | 50 |
| #10 | Harge | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fffeijjo | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | TeXual | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Nakit | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ekkis | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Eling | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fffeijjo | 824 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | TeXual | 478 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | Eling | 386 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #4 | Stumbel91YT | 292 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Nakit | 214 | 0.18 | 5 min |





