








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1552 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1317 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1371 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,194 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | vexo_x | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | Eläkeläinen Mr Coldhand | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | Dullerturtle | 39% | 31 |
| #12 | KovaArska | 32% | 19 |
| #13 | Hovikuski | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | kikkeli | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | KovaArska | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Myle | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Jooke | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | 142 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | rafal | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dullerturtle | 84 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jooke | 81 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Myle | 63 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +6.10 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | Jooke | +4.00 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | kosunenb | +2.69 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | KovaArska | -1.21 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | Hovikuski | -1.71 | 60 | 50 |





